Navigating the Beginning of the School Year: Supporting Teachers to Value Progress over Perfection

As we move through the early weeks of the new school year, I’ve been hearing from many teachers who are deeply committed to their students and their craft but are starting to feel the weight of building meaningful relationships with their new class. In the early weeks, there's often a sense of energy and excitement with students and teachers eager to make a fresh start. But now, as the term really kicks in and the workload increases, things can start to shift slightly. Students begin to reveal more of themselves, and as a teacher, you may find yourself navigating some new and challenging situations.

So, what do we need to remind ourselves of to ensure we continue showing up as our best selves?

First and foremost, we need to turn inward and focus on what is in our control. As educators, we’re not just shaping young minds; we’re also modelling how to navigate challenging moments, both for ourselves and for our students. Every day, we reflect and we navigate challenges with and for our students, some of whom are still trying to understand our ways and routines.  Amidst the pressures, it's crucial to remind ourselves of our resilient superpower and the valuable skills, tools, and strategies we continue to show up with every day.

One helpful framework I believe in, comes in the form of three C’s: These three strategies are all about you, THE TEACHER and they’re simple but powerful reminders to stay focused on the long-term goal of building trust and maintaining a positive and productive RELATIONAL classroom… for without the relationship, you have no real learning to speak of.

1. CALM
Your measure of success in the classroom comes when you show up as a source of psychological safety for your students. This begins with having a clear intent about who you want to be and valuing the importance of how you remain present. By focusing on being calm, connected, and grounded, you create an environment where students feel safe to be themselves and express themselves authentically. This is an essential for building strong relationships and fostering a positive environment conducive to learning.

Beginning each day with an awareness of how you’re showing up is crucial. Focussing on yourself especially during moments of stress, is an essential part of managing your own emotions and nervous system. We can often feel the weight of the various needs in a diverse classroom, but it's important to remember that we are a highly valuable piece of the puzzle that requires nurturing and consideration too; not just for your own well-being but for the well-being of everyone in your classroom.

What helps you feel calm in the classroom?   What are your needs, and how do you meet them?

Taking a moment to reflect on these questions can be incredibly powerful. Every person has unique triggers and tools that either contribute to or disrupt their sense of calm. Identifying what works for you, whether it’s taking a cold-water break, deep breathing exercises, or setting clear boundaries, can make all the difference in staying grounded during challenging moments. Teachers give so much of themselves every day, so being intentional about how you care for your own emotional well-being is crucial and not to be dismissed.

2. CONSISTENT
Continue to show up consistently—calm, clear, and predictable. Many students, especially those who find it challenging to regulate their own behaviour, are still figuring out who you are and where they fit in this new setting.  We are only in the early days of the school year, and it’s completely normal to feel like we want everything to be running smoothly, however in reality we know it takes time to build an environment where we truly know and understand each other.

The more confident you are in your consistent responses, the more secure and safe your students will feel. It’s all about playing the long game. As you prioritise the establishment of consistent, predictable routines, especially now at the start of the year, you're laying the foundations for a stronger, connected classroom. While it may feel tough right now, stick with it! … consistency builds trust and mutual respect. You are creating an environment whereby students know and feel ‘I see your potential and I am invested in it’.

Be consistent and clear about who you are and what is important to you. Clear communication helps students understand not only what you value, but also what they can expect from you. Resist the urge to over-explain or justify yourself, clarity doesn’t mean perfection; it just means consistency in your messages and actions.

3. CURIOSITY
Continue to approach each situation and student with curiosity. Take a moment to step back and observe. Lift yourself up to a third-person perspective and observe your students with genuine curiosity. Ask yourself: What is this behaviour telling me?  What is this student seeking from their actions?

Being curious means being open to considering further information, not just from the students themselves, but also from those around you, through careful observation, and by asking open-ended questions. This mindset allows you to explore the deeper layers of behaviour and truly understand what's behind it.

Reframing attention-seeking behaviour to ‘connection-seeking’ can often make a significant difference in how we perceive and respond to what we observe. When we approach situations with a curious mindset, we’re more likely to consider compassionate solutions that benefit both the student and the classroom.

Maria Montessori emphasised the power of observation in her teaching method, and it remains one of the most valuable tools we have as educators. By observing students without judgment, we create space to understand their needs, not just manage their actions. This allows us to assess what’s going on beneath the surface and develop strategies that genuinely meet each child’s emotional and educational needs.

As the school year continues, I encourage you to stay grounded in these principles. The work you’re doing is invaluable, and though it’s demanding, you have the skills and tools to handle it; I believe deeply in your capacity. Keep showing up, stay calm, be consistent, and get curious…both with your students and yourself!

Rethinking Behaviour: A Shift Towards Understanding, Not Judging

Behaviour is everything we do; from the moment we are born till the day we die...it’s how we communicate our needs.  And it is true, some people are better at expressing these needs through their actions, while others are still learning how to do so in a pro-social and effective manner. At the heart of it all, behaviour is a message, a way of signalling what is happening in any given moment. Understanding this concept can revolutionise how we view ourselves, others, and our interactions.  It’s time to re-think the traditional notion of behaviour being right or wrong, good or bad, and instead think of it as helpful or unhelpful. Let’s take a deeper look at why this shift in perspective is so important.

As Dr William Glasser tells us, from the moment we are born, our brains are wired to behave in the best way it is able, to satisfy one or more of our five basic needs, these being:

• the need to connect with self and others (love and belonging)

• the need to feel competent, capable and to achieve (em-power-ment)

• the need to have agency over our own actions and choices (freedom)

• the need for joy, learning, and curious play (fun)

• the need to be safe and ensure our physical well-being (survival)

Every behaviour we engage in is, at its core, an attempt to fulfill one or more of these basic needs. Take a baby, for example: when an infant cries, it is communicating that they have an unmet need — they might be hungry, tired, cold, or need comfort. Crying is the baby’s best attempt at signalling this need.  When someone responds and the baby’s need is met, their “picture of needs satisfaction” is complete.

As we grow and develop, we continue to choose behaviours that we believe will best fulfill these needs.  But here's a crucial point: while the intention behind our behaviour is to meet a need, it is often the case, that the behaviour we ultimately choose may not always be the most effective or helpful in getting us closer to what we want.

Consider this: a student in class wants to get the teacher’s attention. If the student chooses to yell and scream across the room, this behaviour might fulfill their need for attention, but it's not helpful in the context of the classroom where learning is the desired intention at the time. The choice of behaviour might disrupt others, prevent learning, and may even damage relationships, however yelling as a behaviour it’s not a ‘good’ or a ‘bad’ behaviour — it’s simply unhelpful in this situation.

Consider, if that same behaviour occurred because the student noticed a fire in the corner of the classroom, then yelling and gaining the attention of all around might be the most effective way to communicate the emergency. In this context, the behaviour is not only helpful but vital for safety! This illustrates the key idea: behaviour is neither inherently good nor bad. It simply serves as a way of expressing a desire at the point in time. The value of the behaviour comes down to whether it is helpful or unhelpful in the given context.

The next step in this understanding is to recognise that every person, regardless of age, is continuously learning to choose the best behaviour to meet their needs. It’s a lifelong process of trial and error, and this is where we can make a significant impact, especially in our relationships with children, adolescents, and even ourselves.  If we can help people, young and old, discern whether their behaviours are helping them get closer to what they want (or not), we can foster self-awareness and personal growth rather than judgement and shaming. 

Asking ourselves, are the behaviours I am engaging in, serving me? Are they getting me closer to what I want?

Are they helping me achieve my goals? Or are they actually (If I’m being honest with myself)  getting in the way? 

For example, a child (or anyone for that matter) might lash out in frustration when they feel misheard, misunderstood or when they precieve a situation to be unfair.  While this behaviour may be an attempt to fulfill their need for connection or understanding, ultimately, it may lead to them alienating themself even further. By helping others recognise that while their need is always valid, the way they are choosing to behave may be unhelpful and we can use these questioning approaches to guide them towards a more effective choice.

Similarly, as adults, we too often get caught up in habitual patterns of behaviour that may no longer be serving us, as they possibly had in the past.  By becoming more mindful and conscious of the choices we make, we can move closer to fulfilling our needs in healthier, more effective ways. Our behaviour choices directly impact our happiness, contentment, and sense of fulfillment; William Glasser quotes, 'we almost always have choices, and the better the choice, the more we will be in control of our lives'.  Every time we choose a behaviour that is helpful … one that brings us closer to meeting our needs in a healthy, effective way, we move closer to being the person we want to be and the life we want to live.

When you realise that the choices you make in response to life’s challenges are in your hands, something incredible happens … you become the creator of your own happiness. No one else can make these choices for you.  Choosing helpful behaviours that move you towards your goals, that build connection, and bring you joy, is a skill that can be developed. The more we practice it, the more we shift our lives towards greater happiness, peace, and fulfillment. It’s not about waiting for outside circumstances to change or relying on others to make us feel a certain way; it’s about taking responsibility for our actions and understanding that we always have the power to choose.

A Shift in Perspective: Moving Towards Self-Management

If we start to view behaviour as a message rather than a moral judgment of the person using it, it opens new avenues for growth and self-regulation; we create space for understanding, improvement, and personal evolution.

By focusing on whether a behaviour is helpful or unhelpful, we empower ourselves and others to make better choices. When we stop shaming behaviour and start asking, “Is this working for you? Is this helping you get closer to what you want?  Ultimately, this approach fosters self-reflection and personal thinking which are the building blocks of self-management. If we can teach people, young and old, how to better discern their own actions and the impact it has on their relationships, we might be moving closer to a world where individuals are more self-aware, compassionate, and skilled in their interactions.  Behaviour is a powerful tool and ultimately if we can choose behaviours that move us closer to what we desire, we’ll be on our way to creating a more self-managed world.

The Art of Setting Boundaries whilst Maintaining Relationships

Setting boundaries is an essential skill for achieving a satisfied and content life. It requires a deep understanding of what genuinely matters to you, the ability to communicate these priorities clearly, and the confidence to uphold them with composure. Effective boundary-setting not only helps you protect what is truly important but also fosters healthy, respectful relationships.

As Bronnie Ware poignantly notes in her book The Five Regrets of the Dying, the number one regret of those nearing the end of their lives is, “I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” This powerful insight underscores the importance of living authentically and setting boundaries that reflect your true values. Here’s a guide to setting boundaries with clarity, consistency, and confidence, ensuring you stay true to yourself and lead a fulfilling life.

1.    Clarify - What’s Important to You, Not What You Think You Should Do

Before you can set effective boundaries, it’s essential to have a clear understanding of your own priorities and values, and not what you may feel pressured to do by societal expectations or other’s opinions.  Often, people get caught up in issues or concepts and forget that their primary goal is to maintain and nurture meaningful relationships within the role. Take some time to reflect on:

Your Core Values: Who is the person you want to authentically be?

Your True Priorities: What relationships and roles bring you the most fulfillment?

Your Genuine Needs: What are your personal requirements for true balance and well-being?

By identifying what genuinely matters to you, you’ll be better equipped to set boundaries that support these priorities and keep you focused on what’s personally significant for you.

2.    Consistency – Verbalising ‘What is Important to You’

Once you have a clear understanding of your priorities, it’s important to communicate them consistently. This means articulating your values in a way that reflects what matters most to you, without getting side-tracked by extraneous issues. For example: What’s important to me is ….  What matters most to me … What I value most … What I hold dear to me is… What fuels my energy …

What situations/people/circumstances bring me joy…

By consistently stating what is important to you, you help others understand and respect your boundaries, reinforcing your commitment to your own values.  Be mindful that you are only stating YOUR value, not trying to convivence others that YOUR value is or should be right for anyone else.

3.     Confidence – Articulating your thoughts not your emotions.

When expressing what values most to you, do so in a cool, calm, collected manner… you are just giving information, avoid the urge to be defensive, like you somehow need to justify yourself.

… Never apologise for your viewpoint, play the victim, whine, or display anger or aggression (and quite frankly, why would you need to).

… Present your boundaries as a reflection of your own values, beliefs or desires, not as a defensive reaction to others.

Being unapologetically yourself while verbalising your stand point shows respect for your own needs and encourages others to honour them as well.

4. Clear Statement - Not a Request

When setting boundaries, frame your communication as a clear statement of your needs, actions, and limits; all things that are in your control.  Boundary setting is not a request or wish for others to change or do something different… it is purely about you and what is important to YOU.

For instance:

Clear Statement: “It is important to me to have uninterrupted time for personal projects on weekends. Therefore, I will not be available for any scheduled meetings during this time.” (I statements … I am in control of what I choose to do)

Not a Request: “I would appreciate it if you could avoid scheduling events on weekends.” (A focus on the external locus of control)

What’s important to me …

What I am willing to do…

What I am not willing to do …

By making definitive statements about what you are willing to do and what you are not willing to do, you take control of your boundaries without imposing ‘shoulds’ on yourself or others. This approach helps establish clear expectations and maintains focus on who you wish to be without seeking validation from others.

Remember, setting boundaries isn’t about meeting external expectations but about defining and honouring your own values. It’s about articulating these values in a way that maintains healthy relationships with those around you. By embracing this approach, you create a life that aligns with your true self and your genuine desires. While it may take time to master, with practice, you'll find yourself increasingly adept at setting and maintaining boundaries that reflect who you truly are and what you genuinely want.

Acknowledging Our Impact on World Teachers' Day: October 2024

Today, on World Teachers' Day, I want to take a moment to acknowledge all the incredible teachers out there. Just over 25 years ago, I embarked on this journey because I believed teaching was the best job in the world—and thankfully I still hold that belief close to my heart today. However, the world is changing, and so is the traditional landscape of education. The question is: have we managed to keep up?

From Knowledge Transmitter to Masterful Educator

Traditionally, the primary role of the teacher was that of a transmitter, solely focused on whatthey could teach to those who were able to absorb it. School was largely about compliance, obedience, memorization, and the imparting of knowledge and facts. As time went on, the emphasis shifted to understanding how to teach effectively. The art of pedagogy became paramount, with great teachers honing their craft through adaptation and innovation.

Today, we recognise that to be outstanding educators, we must master both the "what" and "how" of teaching while developing a deep, practical understanding of who our students are. Learning is a relationship, and we take our responsibility to create conducive conditions for learning in the classroom very seriously. This involves knowing our students, connecting with them, and building meaningful interactions that allow us to coach, motivate, and inspire engagement. Our passionate and dedicated teachers do this every single day, and it is no small feat!

Call to Action: Celebrate and Elevate Our Profession

It is up to us as a profession to lift one another and highlight the remarkable things quality teachers are accomplishing across our country and around the globe. What makes these achievements remarkable? … Well, according to definition, they are the moments worth remarking on. Every day spent in the presence of passionate, inspired educators reveals instances worthy of recognition and attention, does it not?  According to Seth Godin, “you are either remarkable or you are invisible, make a choice”.  Well, I think that teachers have been invisible for too long and now it is time to step up and share how remarkable we are.

So, how can we acknowledge and spotlight these remarkable moments?  How can we honour the teachers who choose this vocation and strive for excellence?

 One way is by being intentional about how we speak about our profession. The next time someone asks what you do, imagine responding with something that emphasises the overall outcome of your role, for example “I inspire young minds and am shaping the future.” Because that’s exactly what you are doing! We need to make the link between what we do each day and the outcomes it brings for our communities and world. 

Imagine the impact we could have if we all began to clearly articulate the influence we are having in the world? Together, we could spark a movement that brings the vital and important role of teachers to life.

Teaching is not just a job; it’s a calling. As a connected and passionate community, we can shape the future of our profession in ways that matter to us.

Help me share this message and celebrate the amazing work we do! 

“All of us are smarter than any of us”.